Lookin’ For Love

  So, yesterday was the most romantic day of the year.  Valentine’s Day is a day for couples, a day for jewelry and roses and candlelight dinners.  It’s a day when the love two people share in their hearts spreads to their pocketbooks and finds material representation.  Love is in the air, and $100 bouquets of flowers are in bloom—on every office desk, every kitchen table, everywhere you look.  For singles, nothing is more monumentally depressing than seeing pink, heart-shaped boxes of chocolate everywhere.

  If you are a member of the Lonely Hearts Club who has vowed to have just spent your last Valentine’s Day alone, there is hope.  Two weeks ago, the global market research firm Synovate released their results of a recent survey, and they are shocking.  The survey seems to suggest that it might be time to swallow your pride, ignore the stigma, and try to find love online. 

  Synovate surveyed more than 4,000 people from eight different countries, including the United States, and found that very few people do online dating.  But for the ones who have tried it, it works very well.  Only 15% of Americans have ever used the Internet to find love.  But of that 15%, however, more than 2 out of 5 (42%) claim to have met their spouse or life partner online.

  In an effort to better understand online daters, the survey asked those who had used an online personal ad or dating service what attracted them to other users.  Of the American respondents, only 27% said it was “their picture or how they look.”  39% said it was their “personality in their written description,” while 33% said they “met basic criteria such as hobbies, statistics, etc.” 

  But there is still that 85% who haven’t tried online dating, and there are a few reasons for that.  30% said they wouldn’t because it could be dangerous, 42% say they would just rather see someone in person first, and 22% just don’t think the Internet should be used for dating.  Oh yeah, and then there is the social stigma attached to online romance.  More than one-third of the people who aren’t online daters believe that “only desperate people” go to the Internet to find their love connection.

  The safety issue is certainly a valid concern.  A separate study by the Pew Internet and American Life Project found that online daters generally had good experiences, but 57% believe that “a lot of people who use online dating lie about their marital status.”  That is reinforced by Synovate’s findings.  84% of Americans believe that people are dishonest in their online dating profiles.  If you want to try online dating, but are concerned about safety, all of the online dating sites offer simple rules that can help keep you out of harm’s way.  And compared to going home with some stranger you met in a bar, how dangerous is it?

  I actually know two people, both women, who found their soul mates online.  One is a girl I went to high school with, and one is a lady I work with.  Both married their online love, and remain married today.  Of course, there may be more I don’t know about.  If you are single and looking, why not ask the couples you know how they met?  You may be surprised how many began as broadband love connections.

 -From Pulse
   February 15, 2007