Aqua Teen Hunger Farce

  By now you probably have heard about the marketing stunt that brought the fair city of Boston to its knees last week. 

  It all started last Wednesday morning, when a guerilla ad campaign for the Cartoon Network’s show, “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” was perceived as a citywide bomb threat.  A city worker notified police after spotting the first device Wednesday morning.  It appeared to be a circuit board bearing the image of a cartoon character giving the finger to passersby.  By 1 p.m., emergency operators were getting calls reporting more sightings of the mysterious devices—devices that, when you really looked closely, kind of looked like a Lite-Brite.  Remember Lite-Brites?  The ‘80s toy with backlit colored pegs that could be arranged to look like a fish or frog or a fairy?  Could the terrorists really be so cruel as to turn our own toys against us?

  Soon the city was locked down.  Highways and rivers, public transportation, businesses and bridges were closed for investigation.  Pandemonium ensued.  For hours, the city was at the mercy of bomb squad officers and the Department of Homeland Security.

  And then they realized what they were dealing with.  The “suspicious devices” were just flashing signs designed to generate a buzz for the upcoming “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” feature film, which is scheduled for release on March 23.  Two men placed them around the city, nearly two weeks earlier.  Peter Berdovsky, 27, and Sean Stevens, 28, were reportedly paid $500 for their part in the campaign.  Both were later arrested and charged with planting a hoax device and disorderly conduct, charges to which they both pleaded not guilty.

  In a press conference on the courthouse steps following their arraignment, the two contributed a little more to the circus atmosphere that had engulfed the city.  On the advice of their attorney, they refused to answer questions about their role in the melee.  Instead, they offered to answer reporters’ questions about another burning issue.  “What we really want to talk about today—it’s kind of important to some people—is haircuts of the 1970s,” said Berdovsky.  When reporters refused to cooperate, the two feigned indignation. It was like a scene from Monty Python.

  Nine of the devices were found in Boston, a crime for which Turner Broadcasting, parent company to the Cartoon Network, agreed to pay the city $2 million.  The company took out full-page ads in the Boston newspapers on Friday, apologizing for the bomb scare and conceding that their actions were careless and irresponsible.  (It should be noted that Turner Broadcasting is owned by Ted Turner, who was once married to “Hanoi Jane” Fonda, a communist and outspoken critic of the war in Iraq.  This “coincidence” is something that the Liberal Media is reluctant to point out.)

  Many say that Turner should’ve known better than to try a campaign like this in a “post-9/11 world.”  But why, in a post-9/11 world, does it take 12 hours and $500,000 to determine that these things WERE NOT bombs?  And why did it take two weeks for Boston officials to find them?  And Boston wasn’t the only city “under attack.”  The campaign was carried out in 9 other large American cities.  In New York, 41 were found.  Philly had 56.  Are those cities less prepared than Boston?  Or more reasonable?

  In a world where companies are paying $2.5 million for a 30-second Super Bowl commercial, Turner got a week’s worth of 24-hour news for about the same price.  Now that’s cheap advertising.

 -From Pulse
   February 8, 2007