Latin Rap?

  You know, I’ve never thought of Paul Harvey as much of a hype-man.  Sure he talks up the almighty Bose Acoustic Wave Radio, and Tempur-pedic mattresses, and Wal-Mart.  But last week, when I heard him talking about a German hip-hop group that raps in Latin, my interest was piqued.  In two or three sentences about this new German rage, old Paul had captured my attention.  He never mentioned the name of the group, but I was hooked.  I had to find out more.

  I knew that Paul, being a commentary guy, rarely mentions something until it’s been covered somewhere else first.  A simple Internet search turned up the London Telegraph article by Hannah Cleaver from whence Mr. Harvey presumably got his information about the group Ista.

  Now, to hear Paul tell it, one would think that Ista was really making waves.  One would think that they would be the next international singing sensation.  One would think that Ista would soon be a household name, bigger than The Beatles.

  “A couple of years ago, the debate in Germany was whether Latin should continue to be included in the country’s public school curriculum…Now, students are rushing to learn Latin because of a rap group.  A rap group from Germany…that raps…in LATIN.”  Okay, I’m paraphrasing Paul, but you get the gist.

  There are three main points that you need to know about Ista.  First of all, the group formed a little more than ten years ago while attending school in the German town of Wilhemshaven.  Secondly, as a group, they were defunct until they started receiving all of this new attention.  They had gone on to become teachers, architects, nurses and parents, but with the recent rise in attention to their now-moldy music, they have decided to dust off the synthesizers and start rapping again.  And the third thing you should know before you investigate further is that, well, that’s a shame.

  I don’t want to mince words and I don’t want to lead you astray (like Paul Harvey led me astray).  Their music is atrocious.  It sounds like Kraftwerk’s impersonation of Weird Al Yankovic’s parody of Gerardo’s “Rico Suave.”  It could be the soundtrack for the elevator ride to hell; it’s the fodder for many recurring nightmares that I am sure to have, starting tonight. 

  Lars Janssen, the group’s de-facto leader told the Telegraph, “Over the years, we have sold around 2,500 CDs.  Between 10 and 20 are bought per month, from our Internet site.”  Sounds like the makings of a class-action suit.  “But recently,” Lars continues, “that has doubled and the media interest has been enormous.  People have found us over the Internet and we have sold CDs to people in the US and all across Europe.”  Ah, an international class-action suit. 

  I honestly feel like the newfound interest in Ista is driven, not by teens or music-lovers, but by Latin teachers trying to appeal to their students.  And I genuinely suspect that it can’t be working.

  Please don’t take my word for it.  Like your buddy who orders an awful drink and then passes it your way, I really want to share this with you.  Log on to www.ista-latina.de and let me know what you think.  Good day!

-From Pulse
  February 16, 2006